🇧🇪 Brussels · Wallonia · Flanders 💔 Guide

Separation or divorce: money, the home, the mortgage

A separation gets settled twice: between the two of you, then with everyone who has not been told — the bank, the tax office, the insurers. It is almost always the second round that costs money. Here is what each status leaves to undo, and in what order.

A kitchen table with two coffee mugs set far apart, two sets of keys, a folder of documents and a calculator.
Two sets of keys, one file: a separation also plays out on paper.

What your status changes

The starting point differs depending on how you lived together. Our comparison of marriage, legal or de facto cohabitation explains what each status protects; here is what it leaves to undo:

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Married You need a divorce, granted by the family court: by mutual consent if you agree on everything, on grounds of irretrievable breakdown otherwise. Without a marriage contract, the default regime creates joint property that has to be wound up and divided.
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Legal cohabitants A declaration of termination at the municipality is enough, and either partner can make it alone. But it divides nothing: what was bought in joint ownership stays jointly owned until it is divided.
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De facto cohabitants No formality, and no protection. Each takes back what is in their name; what was bought together stays jointly owned. The partner with the lower income is, in principle, not entitled to any maintenance for themselves.

In all three cases the children's rights are the same: parental authority, residence and child maintenance do not depend on the couple's status.

The family home

It is often the household's only large asset, and the first question that hurts. There are three ways out: one partner buys out the other, the home is sold, or it stays jointly owned for a while — until the children have grown up, for example.

For married couples and legal cohabitants the family home is protected: neither can sell it, pledge it or end the lease alone. In an emergency — violence, a sudden departure, disagreement over who stays — the family court can provisionally grant the use of the home to one of the two.

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Buying out your partner's share is not taxed like a sale: dividing a property between co-owners is subject to a partition duty, markedly lower than the registration duties on a purchase. That is a strong argument for buying out rather than selling to a third party and buying again elsewhere. The rate is set by each Region; our page on registration duties explains how the three Regions work.

Before a buy-out, have the property valued by an independent professional rather than agreeing on a guess: the value you settle on sets the balancing payment, and the taxable base. Above all, check that you can carry the mortgage alone — which is the next section.

The mortgage — the trap

This is the warning nobody gives in time. When you borrowed together, you are usually jointly and severally liable: the bank can claim the full amount from either of you.

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Your separation agreement, even when approved by a judge, does not bind the bank. If it says your ex takes over the loan and they stop paying, the bank will turn to you — for the full amount, on a home you no longer live in. Only the bank can release you, through an amendment or a new loan.

In practice, whoever keeps the home has to get the bank to release the other borrower. The bank then runs a complete new assessment on a single income: it is the same calculation as for a new loan, and our borrowing capacity calculator gives you the order of magnitude before the appointment.

If the bank refuses, two routes remain: refinance the loan elsewhere on your own, or sell. Keeping a joint loan "until things settle down" is the most common and the riskiest option: your ability to borrow for a new home stays reduced by that loan for as long as it runs in your name.

Do not forget the mortgage life insurance: it is tied to the insured persons. If one partner takes over the loan alone, their cover has to be reviewed — otherwise the ex-partner's death would repay part of a loan that is no longer theirs.

Joint accounts and debts

On a joint account, each holder can in principle act alone — including emptying it. As soon as a separation is on the horizon, ask the bank to accept only transactions signed by both, or each open an account in your own name for your income.

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Credit cards and overdrafts An authorised overdraft on a joint account binds both holders. Have it brought back to zero and closed rather than left open.
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Household debts For married couples and legal cohabitants, debts taken on for the needs of the household and the children's upbringing bind both partners in principle, even if only one signed. List what is outstanding before you sign anything.
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Online access Banking apps, itsme, shared mailboxes, subscriptions in one name paid by the other: change the codes and split the direct debits. It sounds trivial, and it is what causes the most disputes afterwards.

Children: residence and maintenance

Parental authority normally remains joint, whatever the residence arrangement. When parents cannot agree, the law makes equal shared residence the first option the judge must consider if one parent asks for it — without imposing it where the child's interest calls for something else.

Child maintenance does not depend on the couple's status but on the child's needs and each parent's income. It covers ordinary costs; extraordinary costs — major medical care, school trips, expensive activities — are shared separately, according to a key best written down in the agreement.

Child benefits keep being paid, but who receives them can change with the residence arrangement: tell your fund about the separation straight away, the rules depend on the Region.

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Family mediation with an accredited mediator usually costs far less than contested proceedings, and an agreement reached in mediation can be approved by the court. It is the route the judge will suggest anyway.

Taxes in the year you separate

For married couples and legal cohabitants, joint taxation does not end on the day one partner moves out. In the year of the de facto separation you usually still file a joint return; separate taxation starts the following year. Plan for it: often only one of you ends up paying the balance, or receiving the refund.

Two mechanisms then change the picture:

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The dependent-children allowance It normally goes to the parent where the children are registered. With equal shared residence, parents can split it — "tax co-parenting" —, which often benefits the family as a whole. See our page on dependent children.
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Maintenance payments Maintenance paid under a court decision or an agreement is largely deductible for the payer and taxable for the recipient. It has to be regular, proven by bank transfer, and not paid to a child who is part of your own household.

Insurance, pension, beneficiaries

A separation updates no contract on its own. Go through them one by one:

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Life insurance and pension savings If your ex is named as beneficiary, they stay so until you change the clause. Also check the death beneficiary of your group insurance, through your employer.
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Home, liability, car, hospital cover The policy often covers "the household": the partner who leaves is no longer covered at the new address. Each needs their own personal liability cover, and a family hospital insurance has to be split.
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The pension A divorced spouse may, under conditions, have rights to the state pension earned on the other's career during the marriage. Cohabitants, legal or de facto, have none.
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Your registered address The partner who leaves has to register at the new address. Until that is done, you form a single household in the administration's eyes — with consequences for benefits, social tariffs and taxes.

What we do not put figures on

The partition duty rate in each Region, the exact deductible share of maintenance payments, and the methods used to calculate child maintenance: these values are not extracted from our sources, and we do not publish them. The mechanisms are described above, and they are what drive the decisions.

A separation involving property, children or disagreement is not something to settle alone. A notary is essential to divide real estate; a lawyer or an accredited family mediator is useful in almost every other case. Many offer a first orientation meeting.

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Do not walk away from the joint mortgage on a promise. Until the bank has released your name, you remain liable for the whole — whatever the agreement says.

Further reading